Will Your Wedding Photos Come Back to Haunt You?

We all have our love for facial hair and sideburns. I myself used to sport a long ass goatee that I had dyed bright red. Yup, seemed like a good idea at the time. We’ve all seen the photos of Dad’s wedding, groomsmen with huge mustaches, mutton chop sideburns and oh dear Lord, The Mullet! My Dad gave me some advice on my wedding day, he said “Son, shave that crap off your face, don’t date your photos.”

Having thought about this I think that was some of the best advice I could have gotten. You want your wedding photos to be timeless.

Sure, Wolverine is cool and all…but…

Ah the mutton chop sideburn. They look great on Wolverine and Elvis, but do you want them in your wedding photos. When you pull out your photos in the coming years will your kids get a good laugh at

Dad’s ridiculous facial hair? This goes for beards (Do you really want to put your bride through that on the wedding night?) goatees, soul patches, cool 80’s stubble and the “pornstache” that Brad Pitt is now sporting. Keep in mind he has his for a film role. Having facial hair that was cool in a certain era will date your photos, it will let people know exactly when you got married and how “cool” you thought you were at that time. You want your photos to be timeless!

Ha, Ha, Daddy had a mullet!

It doesn’t stop at facial hair fellas, oh no. Remember the Faux Hawk, the Vanilla Ice lines and the dreaded Hockey Hair or Mullet! Entire web pages have been dedicated to the Mullet, do you want your wedding photos on such a site!?! I thought not! It may have been all business in the front and a party in the back, the best of both worlds you say? HELL NO!!! I loved the re-make of Miami Vice, so I grew out my hair and grew a wee moustache, I found out I was NOT as cool as Colin Farrell and my wife and friends still make fun of me. I will be eternally thankful that this phase came after my wedding. Sure your personality should come through in all aspects for the wedding, but let’s keep is classy shall we.

We Can Help, We Have The Technology

So, how does one tackle one’s facial and head hair then? For the facial hair I suggest getting yourself a little pampered. On the morning of your wedding, after you’ve had a nice breakfast. Head out to a pre determined barber shop and get yourself a nice warm towel facial and straight razor shave. This will ensure the baby-butt smoothness of your face for your wedding and all the kissing associated there in. Even better, have the barber come up to your hotel room.

As for your glorious head hair. I suggest getting your hair cut in the style you want for the wedding a few weeks before hand. This ensures it will look good and you will like the style. Just before the wedding, pop back into the same guy and just get a trim. Sounds simple right? Well I got my hair cut right before the wedding, it was way too short and I look like I had a day pass from the Marines in my photos. Even worse, at the right angle of the sun, it looks like I’m pretty much bald.

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

So just a few things to recap here. Shave that crap off your face, take some time to pamper yourself and don’t cut your hair before the wedding, just have it trimmed. Oh and one more thing, if you decide to color your hair, give it time to look natural. If your wedding is on Saturday DON’T dye your mop on Friday night. It will look fake and you may have some runaway dye on your scalp as well. No one wants that.

You can make the shave an outing for all your groomsmen if you like. The bridal party gets their hair and make up done, why can’t you and your guys get a hot towel facial and a shave? That way you know none of your groomsmen will show up with any crazy facial hair. Maybe speak to them when you ask them to be in the groom party as some people have a great bond with their facial hair and may not want to give it up.

You want your pictures to be timeless, yes I have said this before but I can’t say it enough. You don’t want your kids to pull out your wedding photo album to have a good laugh with their friends, you want them to pull that album out and tell their friends how hot their parents were and especially, how great their “Pops” looked.