Can We Ask Guests to Stand During Our Ceremony?

Classic etiquette compared to the unconventional: it’s a battle as outdated as time. And, when it comes to obtaining company stand at your marriage ceremony ceremony, there is a divide in between those people who believe that it’s inadequate hospitality and individuals who assume it’s a new and neat thought. 

Because the start off of the pandemic, weddings have long gone through a myriad of changes—from Zoom weddings to small visitor lists to no-dancing regulations. Partners, planners, and distributors all experienced to pivot and change. 1 of the approaches, Fallon Carter of Fallon Carter Situations, did so was by preparing very last-moment standing weddings at general public destinations like parks. “We commenced accomplishing it out of necessity as opposed to a development,” she suggests. Now, she enjoys them. 

She describes an out of doors marriage ceremony in which the bride and groom are in a valley and guests are standing on the hills above on the lookout down. No chairs or person-made products are there to disrupt the organic landscape. “It generates its very own degree of intimacy. When people are standing, they’re additional notify. It feels extra group fashion. It’s a vibe that takes place,” she says. “The ceremony is a time for your visitors to witness your like story arrive to its brand new commencing. There is energy in generating a circle and [the couple] is standing in the middle—building a tribe and a neighborhood. When persons stand and rise to the occasion—pun intended—it leads to a potent ceremony. [it’s like saying] ‘Stand up and be in this with us.’”

It is a beautiful picture. But, etiquette professional Elaine Swann states, “No. That is not appropriate.” For her, visitor consolation is the most essential factor when setting up a wedding day, and inquiring guests to stand is just bad etiquette, she claims. “We have to think that surely the wedding is for the bride and groom, but when you convey other individuals into an natural environment it can be important for you to just take them into thought. You have now become a host, so your position is to produce a welcoming and relaxed setting,” she describes.

She thinks the only time it is suitable to check with guests to stand is through selected components of the ceremony if faith or lifestyle dictates it (i.e. stand for a prayer or to observe the bride walk down the aisle). She also notes that the wedding bash usually stands, so couples should really be conscious of who they include things like in their social gathering if they are asking them to stand for a prolonged period of time and to make confident absolutely everyone is comfortable with that.  

Annie Lee, founder of Plannie and principal planner at Daughter of Structure, takes a type of middle-of-the-road stance on standing weddings. She presents that even though it’s not the 1st decision for a ceremony, “sometimes it is the only way but it can be done to generate a incredibly personal and cozy experience” dependent on the size and layout of the venue.  

When To Do a Standing Ceremony

The two Carter and Lee have noticed the pandemic drive the envelope in the marriage ceremony market towards extra adventurous outside-the-box situations. And, Carter admits that a standing ceremony is “unorthodox.” 

“Tradition has been up for resourceful interpretations for yrs now. Soon after 2020 while, just one of the improvements I see is that weddings don’t automatically have to be significant functions with a complete generation. There is a pattern of scaled-down gatherings in considerably much more intimate options, which redefines how we have come to believe of a wedding ceremony celebration in the final couple a long time,” shares Lee. If you do want to program a standing ceremony, Carter suggests only performing it with an intimate visitor count of 75 or significantly less. If the group is way too major, people in the back again will not be ready to see. 

1 of the very first issues that may come to thoughts when you feel about a standing ceremony is that elderly visitors or company with bodily restrictions would not be in a position to take part. For this motive, it can be vital to look at your visitor listing very carefully and offer seating for any individual who might will need it. In fact, acquiring some more chairs on hand irrespective is not a poor notion in situation anyone demands to sit for any rationale. 

Lee also offers that a standing ceremony ought to be small. “Standing is one particular detail, standing for a extensive time is a further,” she says. Speaking of length, Swann also reminds couples that other components these kinds of as the features really should inform the length of the ceremony as very well (regardless of whether standing or seated). If it is extremely hot, extremely cold, or raining, think about shortening an out of doors ceremony, she indicates. She also advises acquiring parasols, umbrellas, or bottles of water—anything that may well make an outdoor ceremony extra comfortable 

Should You Have a Spill-In excess of Area

Occasionally a standing-place-only place will become a solution for spill-more than if all the company can’t in good shape in 1 location. But, Lee is not a admirer of this approach. “If I had to choose concerning attendees seated in yet another spill-more than room or obtaining all the friends stand in the one particular similar area, arms down, I might test to hold anyone in the identical home,” she shares. “It’s like heading to a concert and then some people getting to see the display reside though the other folks are watching it on the monitor. It divides the visitors not only physically but disconnects them from the great importance of the working day.”

Swann agrees that a spill-around location is not the way to go. She suggests that if all your guests will not be capable to fit at the ceremony (for example, if it’s a small gathering at a city hall), to permit company know the ceremony will be a closed function this way you can politely only invite your closest loved ones and buddies to be existing. The rest of the attendees should be instructed to get there at the reception. Nonetheless, she does not advise the reverse: obtaining all your company at the ceremony and only some at the reception. 

Guidelines for Standing Weddings

If a standing ceremony suits the bill for your marriage ceremony, Carter and Lee have some guidelines and tips to adhere to to make certain it goes smoothly:

• Talk with your attendees and let them know they will be standing so they know what to anticipate and can costume accordingly (stilettos may be sick-recommended in this circumstance).
• Give foldable shoes or flip flops for any individual who did wear awkward shoes. 
• Have chairs out there for anyone who demands one. Think about putting near household users in chairs up front and having the relaxation of the visitors stand guiding. 
• Supply gentle bites and drinking water prior to the ceremony so that visitors are replenished in advance of standing for a prolonged time period of time. 
• Retain the ceremony brief and sweet. 
• Build tiered standing. Lee indicates introducing levels or utilizing balconies so that no 1 is staring at the back again of someone’s head during your complete ceremony. Carter says in organic options, rocks and hills can be used.